Childless & Loving It

First of all , f*ck them kids 🗣

I’m playing or am I ?

I’m so tired of people expecting me to have a child or getting mad at my answer on not becoming a mother . So here are some reasons !

1. It’s my choice !

Choice is exactly that – a conscious decision having weighed up the pros and cons, and going with whichever decision is most appropriate for the individual.

You probably heard that when women choose not to have children , we are called “selfish” . But how so ? Isn’t it more selfish to bring a child into this world that you can’t really provide for ? Think about it .

2. I want actual love , not just a baby !

Why is it always “why I don’t have kids ?” and never “where is the man I’m in love with?” Shouldn’t I be in love first then decide whether or not I want to create another human being ? I’m a hopeless romantic and I want that real love.

I also haven’t seen many good examples . I’ve seen more single mothers than actual families. “Baby mama” has become way too common. I refuse to be another stereotype.

3. I want my career first !

I have a long way to go in my career . I don’t want to have to resent my child or pause my path . Children are a blessing but definitely life – changers. Your whole life takes a different direction when you have children. Children become your number one priority.

4. It’s not what I see myself doing in five or ten years !

I used to think of having children but as I grew older , I realized it was just my societal outlook. Everyone’s lifestyle is different. I see myself traveling and enjoying my life .

5. I don’t want to raise a child in this world .

Everyday it’s something new . Whether it’s political or racist , there’s always something going on . Can you guarantee my baby boy will make it to his 21st birthday or will he be killed before then ? Can you guarantee my daughter won’t be sexually harassed ? I’ve dealt with many instances and I rather not have my child deal with any of it . Although I can’t prevent certain situations, I can do my best to be able to move to a safer location freely.

6. I like being alone .

I’m sorry but after sharing a house with 6 people growing up , I like being alone now. I don’t like being constantly bothered by people. When I want two or three days of quiet , how can I do that with a child ?

I also used to distance myself from friends when they become pregnant. It’s like they know my choice and still pressure me to have a child. Also the plans will flop or they want me to babysit and I’m just not into it. I baby sat enough in my childhood.

I love being alone , in my own peace .

7. I like to just go .

I’m the type to wake up and just book a flight or bus ticket. I don’t have to worry about anyone else but me. I can just get up and go. With a child , it’s harder to do . You have to factor in childcare and honestly I don’t have a support system . So who is my child staying with ?

8. I like my money .

Children are financial burdens . I like my money to go towards traveling and other things I like to do .

I honestly shouldn’t have to provide reasons on why I don’t want children . It’s my choice at the end of the day. I practice safe sex and never had a scare . If I do become pregnant, I know I’ll be a great mother . I would love my child unconditionally and provide a better life than what I have. If it happens , it happens .

To all the people out there , stop trying to wish children on people ! Not everyone wants children or need to have children to have a “life” or feel whole.

I used to think something was wrong with me because of all the reactions I received when I said I don’t want children. I don’t even get “baby fever”. I see a child and instantly think about diaper costs . But as the years went on , I realized there’s nothing wrong with me. There’s something wrong with society .

A child is a HUGE decision and it shouldn’t be taken lightly.

The Rich Auntie

Now I don’t “hate” children . I’m perfectly fine being the auntie . I will say congratulations and wish you the best of luck with children. But when auntie time is done , I’ll gladly return the babies in one piece hopefully.

We often hear the term “rich auntie” and I strive to be that auntie . But I ask is the auntie rich because she has money or because she has no children ?

Either way , I want to be her . I want to just spoil the children and whisk them away on adventures.

In conclusion, I’ll have children if I want to but until then , I’m childless and loving it .

Check out my YouTube video of me taking a pregnancy test HERE !

Check out these other articles :

Childless And Chilling: Do Black Women Feel Pressure From Others To Procreate?

Disclaimer : This post is not meant to offend or belittle anyone. This is just my blunt opinion on the topic . If you’re a mother I commend you for doing a job that is important.

26 thoughts on “Childless & Loving It

  1. Hilarious and honest take! Love this… women should not have to answer for why they choose not to have children! I’ve just turned 30, recently divorced and no kids (I haven’t decided if I want them yet) but i can truly say the judgement and pressure is there! I wrote a blog post on this, check it out if you like 🙂

  2. I absolutely support this. In my opinion there is nothing wrong about living your life without having children. Women should not have children just because they are women, rather when they feel the need for it and when they are ready. If you aren’t ready, than its not the right time. You might change your mind down the line, but you might not. I believe it should be your personal choice. No matter what you decide, I wish you happiness. ❤️

  3. Thanks for sharing! While I don’t completely share the same views I totally understand the sentiment; I definitely understand being bothered by questions about your life.

  4. Well said. Not everyone is finding “the meaning of life” in children. All opinions and choices should be respected.

    Liked the intro, it’s hilarious! Keep it up!!

  5. We’re fortunate to live in an era of choice (for the most part). Hopefully in the not too distant future, people will stop seeing having children as the norm and expressing surprise or condemnation of those of us who choose to be childless..I enjoyed your post.

  6. Ha, I couldn’t agree more, I feel like I could have written this post about myself! Way too many people have children just for the sake of having them, then hardly even have the time to actually be present in their lives.

  7. I couldn’t agree more! I work in the legal field where I see people having kids for all the wrong reasons and then they get separated and they fight over them. I also see many people having kids because the world pressured them to and they don’t take care of them at all. I admire you for knowing what you want and not giving in to stereotypes and pressure from others!
    ~ Andrea |

  8. The way you started this post ahah! Honestly, this is so real. I can’t stand when people try to force their ideals on your life. This is my body therefore I have a choice and other opinions are irrelevant. Thanks for sharing!

  9. Wow! I love this so much. I wish people would mind their own business more often, especially when it comes to women’s bodies. Great post 🙂

  10. I absolutely agree! Especially on the point of it being your own choice! It’s your body that creates teh child, and it will be you who gives up everything to care for the baby. So it absolutely needs to be you that is 110% ready!

  11. You go girl! I totally agree that it would be better to choose not to have a child than have one and not even take proper care of him/her. While I myself would like to have children, I want to do it when I am ready and stable. I am also enjoying my peace and quiet time right now! Hahaha. Having children is a lifelong commitment and is not to be taken lightly. You are bringing new life into the world, after all! 😀

  12. I think it’s smart that you know what you are and are sticking to it. Too many people are pressured into having kids and then unfortunately the children suffer.

  13. First of all your opening is hilarious so thanks for the laugh! While I do not share the same views I 100% appreciate this article and can say that if I was on your side these would all be my reasons too! Plus who doesn’t love the rich auntie?! Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  14. such a good practical post, I hope people would learn to mind their own business and stop asking questions about kids 🙂

What Do You Think ?